It's been a few days shy of a year sober.
Yet I'm dying right now to feel that burn on my throat.
It's been a month shy of a year clean.
Yet I'm dying to feel that blade slicing my skin.
It's almost been a year.
And what an amazing and happy year it's been.
Yet right now...
I can't see it.
I feel numb.
And I don't care about any of it.
I just want everything to disappear.
Because if you won't let me be with the love of my life.
If you are going to take me away from him yet again.
I don't want to feel anything.
Not unless he's there with me.