It might not have been the best choice to come back
Even though the air is sweeter than I remember
Even though they've cleaned up the place

He's still in the woodwork
under my skin, mostly
A phantom begging to tear away my new skin and reveal to everyone who I used to be
I don't look the same
I don't sound the same
But until I let it go
I'm still him, who I was.

The new shirts feel good
The tiny cardboard apartment
with my name on the lease
feels alright
She's sweet. She forgives a past she wasn't even a part of
But still, it's heavy on me like that winter coat. Coursing through me like rushing water lacking dams.
It isn't hard to relish in the new delights
The hard thing to do
is forgive him, who I was.