Dear Mother’s gone off to see her psychiatrist
The one that’s bat **** crazy took a trip to the ****** bin
To get his degree in Psychology
Well you know I hope she pays off that shrink
Because she won’t be able to bear hearing
That I’m the source of her problems
Learning to engage with the audience
Is always the first step to understanding
How to make money in this music industry
So I better stop biting my nails
And introduce my band
Before I faint from hyperventilating
Just enjoy the fact that you’re playing such
A nice debut venue
With a crowd so vibrant
Because honest to God if the crowd wasn’t drunk
I’m sure they wouldn’t dance to this ******* at all
Police sirens sound as it races on by
Trying to catch crooks and thief’s
Burgling at night
But the kids are fast today
Especially when the box
Of donuts rests on the knees
Disrupting their speed
When they jump out
Trying to catch those crooks and thieves
While attempting to maneuver
The steering wheel
As the shrink stares passively
Spacing out in her head
As her patient begins to vent
Theirs venom in the words
That she spits out so viciously
I hope the psychiatrist doesn’t help
Her to reveal that I am the source
Of her problems
I hope she pays off that that dreadful shrink
She wouldn’t be able to bear hearing
That I’m the source of
Her problems
My mother’s gone to the local quack
To help analyze the problems of her past
Reminisce when the kids weren’t brats
And there were flowers in the grass
Everything was rosy
Well you know I hope she pays off that shrink
Because she won’t be able to bear
Hearing that I’m the source of her problems