In the time when,
     A simple toy with bright lights was enough to amuse me,
     An hour in the bath tub was a day of high-adventure,
     An extra cookie, from the cookie jar, made me feel like something special.
    
     In the time when a nap with mom, in the crook of her arm,
     Was the high point of my day.

During the years that,
     The darkness behind my lids squeezed shut was, somehow, brighter than the darkness around me,
     Mr. Teddy snuggled so tight in my arms gave me a sense of impenetrable protection,
     Drawing my feet way up from the edge of my bed assured me that I would not be dragged away.

     During the years that warm milk and a lullaby were my gold ticket to a peaceful night of sleep.

That era is over.

This year,
     Darkness is darkness, such is the peril that lives within it.
     My once precious Mr. teddy has found a new home, in the back of my dark closet.
     My feet dangle carelessly, over that dreadful edge, after all, drawing them up is pointless.

     This year, warm milk makes my stomach turn,
     And, it takes more than a lullaby to drop my heavy lids.

This time around,
     It's the neon lights of the midnight town that send thrilling shivers up my spine.
     I've traded the great splashes and dunks of bath time for flickering candles and violins.
     An extra treat is a starry-eyed dream, for fear of the guilt to follow.

     A chat with mother is work enough.
     This time, I nap alone.

---

I pray for the minutes,
I counted, until,
I heard dad's keys singing in the lock.

I want for the days,
When I'd anger a toe,
And think my world was falling apart.

I dream of the years,
When I'd be hurt by a friend,
And, the next day, share cupcakes over tea.

I wish for the time,
When everything was simple,
And problems were solved with sweets.

---

Maybe, I could pull Mr. Teddy from my closet's corner,
Warm up a nice, big cup of milk,
Draw up my feet, from the bed's cold edge,
And learn to revel in the darkness around me.

07.2008