i really want to
but i can't

i tell myself every night and every day,
that i will, that i need to, the next hour, the next morning,
but i don't

who knew i had so little power
over my own actions,
over my own mind?

I've heard of bodies acting of their own will
unable to listen to their brain
overcome with desire, lust, need...until,
every path taken is down the wrong lane

even now as i write
i commit my crime
though i really do wonder
if my situation qualifies this time?

...no, once again,  
it's simply just this skillful procrastination of mine.