im sorry I couldn't keep my legs closed - im sorry that his hand up my shirt and his lips pressed against my neck drive me to lose my last bit on innocence. I'm sorry that getting high felt too ******* good, but getting low felt even better. i put that bottle to my mouth and drowned in every last single drop.
im sorry that nicotine taste so good, i didn't think I'd get addicted. i just thought he'd like me better if i started smoking. just like him. I'm sorry that my heart is black and my future matches. I'd burn these thoughts to the ground if I knew that i wouldn't love the pain. im sorry that I've stained the sheets, with my blood. but im lacking regret. I'm sorry I took a knife to the door but for a moment it was him; screaming, begging, pleading, HURTING. it was him, I ******* loved evert second of it. I'm sorry if you know me now because traces of me as the girl that I ever let a man touch me because the second I did I realized how ******* awful this world is. i don't make sense and im gonna puke.
im sorry for that too.