Come one! Come all!
Hey, bring the kids!
Whatever your trouble buddy,
I've got the fix!
I've got cures of all kinds,
in a thousand different shades.
They can even be ingested,
in a thousand different ways!
You can shoot it or snort it,
hell, you can smoke it in a pipe!
All my snake oil's cheap,
I've got just the kind you'll like.
The first time's even free!
(The second might cost double.)
Don't worry about your soul,
just let the elixirs fix your troubles.