Eviscerated, grabbing desperately to keep up with the spilling of everything I've held in all this time. All that once belonged to me, ripped open and unravelling. Past repair. The shock of fear, the shock of unnatural emptiness where emptiness should never be.  

The thing I thought I would never lose. My self, now a pile of unrecognizable parts.  Breath catching and trembling in my throat. Frozen in the thought that I cannot come back from this.