I remember the smell of air conditioning as a child
shocking cucumber skin with rolled up children
in sleeping bags on bear cave floor
I could giggle and even pretend
And now I sit here indifferent
teeth drying
cactus smile
I resign my eyes
lick my listless lips
re-
focus
Try to force a gleam up through
cochleas
into tear ducts-
a genuine sheen
land me on the same plane
But behind my water-melon rind
is plastered strain
a painting you can't look at-
Look away-
Look at me-
You were good- real good-
You had heart.
I just can't feel it anymore
and the bubbles-
I put a lid on them in my sleep.