I want my conscience to scream at me
the things I don't want to hear.
Unleash hidden phobia's that dwell
in the back of my mind, behind the list
of "Things to Don't" and cleverly though-out
processes that are supposed to get me
through the day. I'd like a choir of voices in harmony
chanting at me, "You're not listening, you're not listening, you're not listening! when I begin to allow all of my daily life to become the product of a carefully
calculated
equation that's imploding with equivocal nonsense that brews beneath the surface that you're slowly drowning under.
I want to wake up. I want to wake up and know that I awoke from a dream; a dream that stripped me of my pride, wore and tore me down.
I want to wake up with the realization that it was always ME
who filled the void and did it consciously. I need no illusion.
Yet the illusion is what intercedes my trust and my predetermined path to a tainted utopia.
You know, it's that place where angels go to die and people take off their shoes at the door only to still track mud made out of unfinished aspirations all
over the youth-stained carpet.
Why is it so hard to let it go, to let go of what I thought I knew.
A self I thought I was;
A book on a shelf I thought I read which said, "Free of Body, Free of Mind";
I want to free myself, from myself.