it’s not hard to say

it’s not even hard
to think about

it doesn’t make me sad
or mad
or any of those
other emotions
I’m supposed to be
feeling

it just is

simply as that

I’m getting the news out

first to my girlfriend,
then to my best friend,
then to those who know
me the very least

my mom will take care of family,
doctors, school, people who
“need to know”

but it’s my job to sit around with
it

it’s not hard yet

so far,
it’s pretty easy

it just is
like I said earlier
it just is

nothing to be said
or done or thought
about

and I think my poetry
isn’t going to be any
better

my life isn’t going to seem
any richer

my mind isn’t going to seem
lost or out of sorts

I think I’m still going to be Caleb

no more or less

others are going to have a
harder time than I will

I’m just going to sit around
and write more poetry, sipping
my diet coke like I always do
and quietly repeating to myself:

*oh well