I feel it beginning to take over.
It's small right now, but I recognize it immediately.
It starts with the uneasy feeling in my stomach.

"What can I do?"
Nothing.
"What should I do?"
Something.
"But what? "
Figure out for yourself.

Do something before it's too late. If you don't fight now, it'll be too late.
But why do I always have to fight?
Couldn't I be the one someone fights for?
Instead of always fighting for someone else?

The despair is beginning to creep in.
It's voice gets louder saying,
"You'll never be enough. You're not worth holding on too. You might as well just stop."

Despair is followed closely by helplessness.
"There's nothing you can do for yourself, so how can you expect others to help?"
"You're in this on your own."

Helplessness brings along his friend self-pity.
He tells me, "You don't deserve this. You can never catch a break. It's time for somebody else to get the short end of the stick."

Self-pity comes hand-in-hand with anger.
"This isn't fair. They are the ones who're wrong, not me. There needs to be justice!"

But you begin to mistake malice for justice.
"Make them hurt the way you do. Show them who is in charge. Show them what it feels like to be walked all over."

And malice hardens your heart.
"It's always like this. What is the point in caring for someone if you can just be hurt? You don't need others. Leave them, before they can leave you."

That is the way that loss begins to consume me.
It's only beginning, but I feel it coming.

And to think, all of this could have been avoided with one simple conversation.
All of this could have been avoided if someone could just believe there is good in me.

*What a shame.