i am afraid of
heights and
the buzzing in my head
the unacknowledged cravings
the thirst that drenches the flame
the words that you might say
that begin a whole new spiral
into a different circle that before
was just that craving, teasing
its way around the back of my mind
the tip of my tongue
the length of my everything
the depth of my nothing
the cravings that circle
with razor sharp teeth
and i read about those
with voices and christian parents
and know that i will never be
that which fascinates
whatever it is that lies inside