violent body of mine
take me away
my shoulder
hurts

but
no match
for the haze
that muddles my mind

i
am ashamed
of my body
all of the hate

that i am missing
i make up
for that
absence

they
tell me
i am great
i am everywhere too

i can bleed my
heart out on
a library
computer

and
feel no
more exposed no
less strong i am

filled with that hate
where i can
lay everything
bare

if
i so
choose i am
not stifled by this

body which i cannot
love i am
stifled by
my

mind
the guilt
the shame of
eyes-half-shut looking

blinking through tears equal
parts wind and
limitless possibilities
i,

terrified
of what
will soon be
inevitable i just can't

i just can't admit
that i can
do anything
i

want
whenever i
want however i
want forever i want