I can't sleep
You're gone
And it used to be blood battles every night
But tonight it's silent
And all I can hear are crickets chirping in the yard
The silence is deafening
Sometimes, I prefer you screaming at me through the phone
Just because it meant we were working through something
But last time, I knew it was coming to an end
So I broke it off before you could
And now all I whisper, is your name in my sleep
All I whisper is the places we've been together
The people we've become
My hands are so empty and trembling without yours
The other whole that completed me has moved on so quickly
I guess I thought you wouldn't persuade me by lying anymore after it all happened
But nothing changed
When I text you goodnight,
"Baby" appears as something I should say next
But I dont
I dont say it anymore
Because that's no longer my place
I've taken it out of your veins
And hidden those words within my own
So you won't be able to find it there
You won't be able to sink your teeth into all of my tender places
I roll over
Sweetheart, do you know me?
You know that when the flowers bloom in the spring it means new beginnings and happiness
But lately, all I am sensing is grave danger and sadness filling up the pits of my stomach
I won't eat
I have lost my appetite, due to a boy who is filling me with this sensation of ache
I miss you
I miss you like the way my paper misses the ink on it
I miss you like the way my mother misses alcohol
I miss you like the winter misses the sun
I. Miss. You.
And its sickening to me that you left again
You left without fighting for the parts of me you onced loved so dearly
You picked me up like a moving box and placed me outside your door
Waiting to be picked up by another delivery man
Well its raining
Its pouring
Will you let me in???
I'm cold
I can hear you sneaking her in through the back door
The delivery man is late
And I'm melting on the pavement
I don't want to die anymore
But without you, it feels like I already have...
You say
You're suicidal over things you cannot control
But darling you know that's what breaks me the most
So for once I have taken something into my own hands
Only to regret it later
And so I am sorry for not giving you my all...
I blink my eyes
And realize the darkness of the room is enveloping me in a way I never imagined possible
I ******* miss you baby
Return to these bed sheets
And cradle me with care
Just like it used to be..