And Sometimes I
can't hear voices

but there's this sound--
one hundred people
inhaling smoke simultaneously
today is different than yesterday
      because i'm heavy
my stomach full
and swinging from left to right side
as if i'm with child
but my eyes, all the while
are watering,
they produce silky sweet wetness
a familiarity to me
the gossamer sheets stained scarlet
i wonder when that happened
and how i knew to wake up.