Mar 2015
I had a dream, a while back.
You were there, standing tall and proud with face toward the sun
never affronted by my disturbing you of your peace.
I said I was sorry about, well, you know.
Not knowing.
You shrugged it off with that golden child shrug of yours,
that earth mama groove shrug that always rolled
like water off your back.
But I guess it didn’t roll like we thought it did, did it.
I was mad, too, in my dream.
I was so mad at you. I was as mad as I had not let myself be yet.
I don’t remember much after that,
other than you taking it in stride.
I think I remember us talking.
When I woke up, I was not mad anymore
and I was crying.
Someone posted on a photo of yours earlier.
It popped up on my newsfeed like a ghost;
for a second my heart stopped, I think.
You have a bunny on your head
that looks like some sort of renegade furry halo to me
for some reason.
There are lines under your eyes
but you look so serene.
Just staring up at this ******* bunny sitting on your head,
looking all the world like a Renaissance painting.
It’s not fair to know
the pain somewhere in those lines of shadow and light,
your shadow and light,
you’re shadow and light.
I think maybe tonight I’ll dream again,
and maybe you’ll be there. Or maybe not.
But that’s the only place I can find you,
the only place any one can find you.
There’s a curve to your mouth that’s making me cry.
It’s a little dark, you have to admit.
Dark, but healing, like some sort of witchy cave.
You might have liked that. But who can say?
Every once in a while someone will post on your wall
on your photos
and there you pop up again.
But we’ve all shifted, and you’re just a frozen face.
Frozen shadows. Frozen light. The princess in the box,
and the people gaze upon her, never touching.
It’s enough to inspire.
Art in different forms, telling different myths and legends.
You can’t be woken up with a kiss.
You are only in a box.
You are only in the dreams of the living now.
And in us you will live as long as the last of us.
A longer life than you might have had but never did,
definitely a longer life than most.
But really, who can say?
You were there, standing tall and proud with face toward the sun
never affronted by my disturbing you of your peace.
I said I was sorry about, well, you know.
Not knowing.
You shrugged it off with that golden child shrug of yours,
that earth mama groove shrug that always rolled
like water off your back.
But I guess it didn’t roll like we thought it did, did it.
I was mad, too, in my dream.
I was so mad at you. I was as mad as I had not let myself be yet.
I don’t remember much after that,
other than you taking it in stride.
I think I remember us talking.
When I woke up, I was not mad anymore
and I was crying.
Someone posted on a photo of yours earlier.
It popped up on my newsfeed like a ghost;
for a second my heart stopped, I think.
You have a bunny on your head
that looks like some sort of renegade furry halo to me
for some reason.
There are lines under your eyes
but you look so serene.
Just staring up at this ******* bunny sitting on your head,
looking all the world like a Renaissance painting.
It’s not fair to know
the pain somewhere in those lines of shadow and light,
your shadow and light,
you’re shadow and light.
I think maybe tonight I’ll dream again,
and maybe you’ll be there. Or maybe not.
But that’s the only place I can find you,
the only place any one can find you.
There’s a curve to your mouth that’s making me cry.
It’s a little dark, you have to admit.
Dark, but healing, like some sort of witchy cave.
You might have liked that. But who can say?
Every once in a while someone will post on your wall
on your photos
and there you pop up again.
But we’ve all shifted, and you’re just a frozen face.
Frozen shadows. Frozen light. The princess in the box,
and the people gaze upon her, never touching.
It’s enough to inspire.
Art in different forms, telling different myths and legends.
You can’t be woken up with a kiss.
You are only in a box.
You are only in the dreams of the living now.
And in us you will live as long as the last of us.
A longer life than you might have had but never did,
definitely a longer life than most.
But really, who can say?
