She’s been following me in my nightmares
I am in my childhood home
Full of children
Playing
They do not like the game I made
***** become books
I ask for help but he is glued to the screen, sitting with former friends
I go crazy in the bathroom
Vision distorted, face warped, mirror as always
I try to pick up the ruby dragon scales littered on the ground
No dice
My hands become transparent
And they don’t budge
I lose track of time
When I come out, everyone is gone
You’re not very good at this, she said
See that door?
Never pass through it
Never leave
And you will see no trouble

The next night
I ride my car through a dark town, streets void of lamplight
I find her childhood home
I speak with the ghost of her father
Among the spiders and rotting walls and yellowing pictures
There is no hope here
I try to scream
No sound from a dry throat
You’re so full of pain, she said
I can feel it in you
Everywhere
I wake up
Unable to breathe
Like that time
I choked
To death