i'm trying so hard not care
but when we first met my heart was ice cold.
it took a couple years but that night we were cuddling together you warmed me up.
you melted me the whole way to my core.
so finally i had this heart that felt
at the time i didn't know it was a bad thing.
but i also had all this left over water.
luckily enough i had the chance to empty everything out when you cheated on me. let me assure you: i was empty.
but i couldn't resist going right back to you because i missed my source of heat.

everything was different then but for a little we pretended like we were just the same. you couldn't handle it any longer so you cut me off.
that was that.

i'm still so cold and trying to recover.
but spring is just around the corner and hopefully i can turn over a new leaf too and make something of this year.
{i was out in the snow last night.}
all i need is the sun i'm thinking because these seeds of happiness you never tended to might sprout into something beautiful.
hopefully a rose-- pretty enough to admire but painful enough to shy away from touching.


*i still have plans to move far north because i think part of me will always want you to come back.
but i hope now i've gathered enough layers to manage on my own.
i know you'll never ask which is probably a good thing because i always had a hard time saying no.