When I got the call,
I was busy,
distracted,
half listening.
That ended real quick.
I tried to focus,
on what you leaving me
really meant.
I tried to conceive of you not existing,
but I lacked the imagination for that.
No matter, your exit was real,
just not to me.
Over and over,
I kept catching myself,
talking to myself:
“wait until I tell him.”
Only now,
there was no one to tell.
No one to ask,
what should I do?
No sympathetic ear to bend.
No soul to inspire and ground mine.
That is over.
Now it is after,
before is no more.