Goodbye.
That’s how I’ll start it.
A simple goodbye should suffice for all of the years I’ve been diminishing into the darkness.
Nobody seems to notice the way I carry myself anymore.
I think it’s funny because when I’m gone I know they will envision me as their best friend.
They will explain how I never showed any signs and I was such a nice girl.
Shutup.
Shutup!Shutup!Shutup!
They don’t know me.
Nobody does.
Only he who vowed to keep my secrets.
Only he who vowed to keep his promises.
He won’t find out until it’s much too late that I’m actually gone this time.
Not just figuratively anymore. This time I’m gone and there’s no going back.
No more am I a contradiction of dead but still alive.
I am now dead on the outside just as much as I am on the inside.
Let me apologize before I say goodbye.
Let me tell you I wish I could’ve made you proud.
Let me tell you how lousy I feel.
But don’t pity me.
I’ve spent too long taking pity on myself for you to do the same.
Know now that I love you.
I love you like a butterfly loves the sunlight.
And I say my apologies in regret to inform you of the terrible life I have led.
Please, I beg you, please.
Live your life.
Enjoy yourself.
Grab the bull by the horns and hang on.
It’ll be the time of your life.