Knife in my soul
Ink your letters into my skin. Sweet bliss oh pain I can’t live without you. A shadow on the wall, I silently watch and listen. I can feel you breathing next to me. Slowly ever so slowly I open up to you. Crush me under the weight of my existence. Just a crush.
Crushed to pieces, breaking apart at the seams. Screaming at the walls that cage me inside my own mind. My mind is my own domain, stop playing with my thoughts, please can’t you see how much it hurts? Answer me this sweet question, oh please don’t bury me in your piles hatred of darkened guilt. I’ve got to find my own meaning.
This meaningless life I live drives me insane. Sometimes I just want to scream. Oh voices screaming inside my head ever so louder each day. Whisper oh sweet whisper let my heart go. How do I find the way when you’re the reason I’m no longer alive? This blackness has eaten away at my soul for far too long. It’s time the gloves came off.
Sweet words are just idle tricks. I trusted you, I needed you. Save me once more, this time I’m begging please. Ripped my heart out before my eyes, my blood ran cold. Colder than Ice, slayer of my sanity bearer of my unholy burden. Why? Why can’t I be normal?
Sanity is overrated overbearing me with thoughts of dark places. My own mind is a terrible haunting place, in the depths lurk the anguish and pain of every terrifying memory.
You haunt my memories, the voice without a name. Always pushing always comparing. Striving to be normal for a bit yet you insult and hate my existence. I can’t sleep anymore, the nightmares are a reality and I don’t even know whether I’m alive or dead. Can’t you just understand I strive to be whole again, anxiety riddled and crippled.
Have you ever just thought for a moment that things aren't really okay. That things are bearing down on you that can't even hope to understand anymore. I just want the voices to stop. I still hear the echoes of the screams and now I'm not sure if they're real or not... I can't face the truth with this knife in my soul.
Written by Justin Thomas Baker on October 2nd 2010 at 3:04AM