to my son I love you you're everything to me. you are me will be times in your life. that I should make you prepared for and is times in life I can't prepare you for you are one of the greatest things in my life you changed my life you probably never read this by the time you can I'll be old as dirt and you going to hang around with a fogey I want you to be intelligent strong way I was brought up but it's okay to be a punk sometimes and if he's bigger than you pick something on. That's what I was told to do.at some point you're going to be insecure perfectly normal I want to be there walking to your first class but I missed it don't worry daddy you for help make it the graduation dog you should have been my junior. I know there are something in the world that I've done side obvious that you probably hate me for as will be some things in life I hope you're proud of I want you to know you're my son I remember when you brought me a sweat top with a Superman s on it you first came back from Virginia you weren't even talking yet then I woke up that morning and you looked at me you spoke clearly.now you're walking and running talking like a little freaking oh my god I can't describe it I probably could be the **** of the earth but i will be a backbone needed anyone ever hurt you I'm ready to **** for you I will die for my children my little Simba you know I was calling you Simba before you came out I am called you fat boy which uncle hated it and your other uncle told me you like being called nick better like he knew better in your third uncle I didn't agree with and hold you at the time I was envious there goes that insecurity thing we were talking about I hope you can read this one day and I'll be scared when your 16 steal your own like your dad was does some stupid things life threatening things I know you're my son be careful I was blessed to have great friends even though you may run across some great people you make them respect you and respect their differences and differences of opinion you understand me love you Nicholas your name should have been Jeffrey Dean Jackson but at that moment me and mother had a disagreement and you know how I am such a mother now she said we scream we all scream by to give in she brings me to another point with you you going to be a strong person i proud of our time with you myself going to watch your way blame it on your name going to call your child is for the way you are but it's not childish that's who you are you're not going to take mess with nobody or like being told what to do but you're my son even if I am the only one who understand you be a mama's boy take out that trash be there when she's hurting and tired from working for you for y'all be the man that I want you to be you understand me I regret regret regret the time that I did leave you for my own foolish court so to speak don't think that I didn't love at the time it wasn't your mother it was some things I couldn't handle but you gotta understand I was waiting on you since I was 18 years old and I'm sorry should have been here and Lord knows I can't wait to be able to walk down the street with me and talk I can't wait for our first drink together I can't wait to catch you smoking a blunt I don't want you getting hurt that first time that you fall off your bike I want to be able to pick you up and tell you that you're the best man in this world that you might have competition with that again that goes to who you are cockiness you're going to pick up the confidence you goin to have comes natural you're my son and your mother's baby who thought of Capricorn and Leo can make that. any man would be proud of you or to have you as their son you're going to be strong guy very very strong and again I'm scared of you not for you Nor a sense out of fear. more along the lines of capability. that's not a bad thing in my eyes you'll never fall and there's nothing that you can do that can't be forgiven by me or your mother we do love you and I'm sorry that this moment you're not with me wait till your 21 you'll see exactly how I feel love you Nicholas Dean.