We're back there again.
That feeling that I'm only a step child.
I do not know what you want from me.
But your overthinking is effecting my sanity too.
I appreciate everything you do for me.
Except the part where you shove words down my throat.
"You're like the wind" he said,
"Shifting and changing and sometimes unbearable".
It kills to never know when you will be normal.
But sometimes you're gone and not my mother.
Some type of high trip maybe.
I don't know who you are anymore.
Ever since 2011 it hasn't been the same.
I know you blame him, but you've made it go on longer than it should.
It kills me to see the way things are.
He's hurting and dying.
Breaking his back to please you.
And he, the younger, is shutting himself up away from the world.
You take the hope and life and only think of yourself.
A manipulative martyr.
Everything has been attempted.
The therapy, apologizing, and effort it does nothing.
I want my loving mother back.
The one who put all else before herself.
Who acted like a mother.
God I pray to have her back.
The soothing, the warm meals, and calm environment.
Oh how you're breaking my heart.
Not my own heart no, but it breaks for you to be the person you were before the storm.
My mother.
Who loved me to the moon and back.
Now you won't even say goodbye.