honestly
I thought I broke myself when you were gone and I was sitting in my room alone staring at the corner of the wall waiting for it to breathe back into me the way you did when you held me close
honestly
I thought you were a figment of my imagination when you were there and I was sitting in your room staring at your face and tracing the lines of your mouth with my fingertips
and honestly
you never had to say you hated me or loved me because words meant everything and nothing and all that mattered was your hand on my neck and your fingers laced in mine and the uncorked bottle of wine in the kitchen