i find myself climbing a ladder of sorts
up and up and up
unending
            steps
constantly moving
but going
   nowhere

why am i put on this ladder
is it the ladder of life?
   death?
or is it just an imagined thing
i have chosen to prove
   i am poetic?
because poetry always consists of a struggle
a struggle of life
   of wanting
     of being
       of belonging

which i am none of the above

i've given up wanting
my being is already established
   belonging?
i don't need to belong
actually
i loathe to belong
to anything
or anyone

so... why do i picture a ladder?
symbolic of an upward climb?
when all i want is to be grounded?
which i figure i AM
but maybe i am
                 NOT
o' befuddled mind of mine
what are you trying to tell me?
why must i climb this ladder
which undoubtedly offers a future to me
of vast openness and unending happiness?
when what i want
is assumedly right here with me now?

which leads me to question
should i question my vision
or accept it
as a vision of rightfulness
which stands to be unquestionably
true?