I hide behind the screen and deflect my doubt with laugher.
so you close the lid, your lids, to thoughts like, maybe there's something to look forward to if you keep looking ahead.
maybe if I don't surrender to mundane or settle for expectations I will have a reason to keep looking ahead.

maybe the fate that has been nagging at your feet since you first stood,  tugging and pleading you listen,  
      no, you don't understand,
       This is bad.
           this will end badly.

I know, but I'll know when it's starting to get bad, and I'll stop.

There's no harm in enjoying until it becomes a problem, right?

But the problem doesn't manifest elaborate overnight. keep waiting and "enjoying" the missteps...."while you can" before it is a problem.

An then you don't know how to escape.
because you unbranded the ladder while killing time, t distract yourself from having to accept you're wrong.

You're in over your head.

Nobody can save you,
you cannot save it.