i still can't believe it.
i saw you. not in my dreams
not in old pictures.
i saw you. standing. breathing.
living.

a new kind of blood pumped through my veins
i felt myself become
anxious. my heart pounded relentlessly.
i couldn't stop moving.iwasgiddy.

i walked up to you.
you looked at me.

i know when you looked at me, you didn't
really believe it was me.
you did a double take, but with your
eyes.

"hey," i whispered. i was afraid
that my voice would crack,
or squeak,
or be obnoxious.

as your eyes filled with recognition,
your smile became wide.

before i knew it, i was in your arms.

and instantly, memories flooded my mind.
in your arms, i felt for a moment,
sanity and contentment

and, for a moment, i didn't want to let go

when released, you were full of questions,
comments and more hugs

i searched your eyes, finding the same man
i fell in love with,
and i was afraid if i searched further, i would find
something else...
something that would open a wound in my heart
that had recently been stitched back up

you know what's funny?
the first thought that popped in my mind when i saw you was,
"he's alive"

i secretly wanted to grab your arms,
look for the scars that resembled my own

i wish the setting was quiet
and more relaxed
talking, i felt rushed.
i knew you wanted to talk more.

but now, the question
what else do you want?
is it possible for us to be normal?
is this smart? what will happen
when you come back into my life?

you know, i had accepted it

i had accepted the fact that
i would never see you again

i had shut you out and i was
finally ready to move on.

you caught me off guard

when i saw you,
i wanted to laugh.
i wanted to cry.
i wanted to scream.