thought i was ok.

then that picture came up—
the one of you smirking
with your brow slightly notched.
and i remember
that time we sat on that hammock
and talked about life,
and kissed on the roof,
and ****** in your bed,
and we looked at each other,
and you gave me that smirk.

after i finish beating myself
up I remember
that time we sat on your bed
and you said "affection shuts me down"
and i rubbed your head
and i said goodbye–
i checked my phone
to see if you had made a mistake;
to call me back
to talk to you,
to kiss you,
to *******.
the screen just smirked back.