I wish I could capture that sound you made in the back of your throat
whenever you would roll your eyes.
I cry sometimes
when I realize I can't quite comprehend
the rhythm that your laughter held.
I died
the first night I remember you are gone while in my dream
And I suddenly woke
weeping while
thinking I was so thankful to see your face
however fleeting.
thankful and greedy over your words I keep playing in my head,
things you said as easy and true as the air you breathed and held
when I could still reach you.
I still bleed poetry,
I still swim in A good fantasy novel,
I still find you in bits of my reflection,
And loving you was the first step I took
toward loving me.
I find you in the delicate creases of my dog eared
pages your existence persist
further than the reaches of your physical form,
I find you in my patience,
my resilience.
I find you lurking in my essence
when I'm lonely and go searching for you
sometimes
I lay in bed and listen until I can hear you again.
And alone I fall
while knowing all along
remembering you
is worth this.