i used to think i was "that girl"
who was destined to
live a life
that only amounted to **** buddies and
loves that i drove away
because who the hell wants to get close to a person
                                                          ­             a human
                                                           ­                            born imperfect
                                                       ­                                                         and therefore unable to promise to never leave you or never hurt you or never let you get too far into something that they know will never be capable of lasting as long as you need it to.

but here i am
                       ****** up
                       anxious
                       irritable
                       downright depressed
but ready and prepared and on the way to not being such a ******* idiot who thinks another person
                    another boy
                    another mouth is going to make me happy.

I'm already there.