******* you back lit screen

And boredom

And the helplessness that comes with waiting

I hate

The sound of my fingernails as they click these keys

And I hate

how nowhere feels like home anymore

And this is me

Thumb in ***

Heart in throat

Eyes fixated on the holes in the wall that I made when I got angry

******* you bed

And old books

And harmonica

Used to play you sweetly

Now

My sharp’s a little flat

And my gut’s a little wrenched

And my tongue won’t stop moving in my mouth

This is me when I’m nervous

One deep breath away from black-out

And this is me when I am lonely

Humming

Hoping

Someone else will notice me by the sound of my voice

And now

I got this song in my bones

Feel it tuggin’ on my heartstrings

like a set of tin-can-telephone wires

I never meant to sing it

Never meant to feel it

Never meant for it to turn into a love song

And this is me

Trying to forget

The one good piece of advice you gave me