I remember being told
that what I found with you, I will find again
and I did not know why but I
cried
cried
and cried
until my body felt so heavy
it could compare
to how you would feel on top of it.
your eyelids, then
began to look like little halos
whispering
that they were still pure – your heart, then
would beat
every time I thought of you
because I never
ever
ever
could stop
(even when I was lying to myself,
I only wanted to lie about you).
for weeks, then
I only knew how to speak
in organs and flesh
in fluids and ***
when all I needed was a way to explain
that
somehow, when we met
we found a corner of the earth
no one had
ever
ever
ever seen before
and we inhabited it together
so no one else would find it again.