I looked forward. I hugged my knees to my chest and looked forward.
The hole in my jeans exposed my knee caps and my sweater did little to stop the cold from penetrating my skin.
But I looked forward. I can't really tell you what I saw. I could tell you the psychical view. The lush green trees and the pretty blue lake. But I was looking beyond that. I was looking at myself.
Please don't think I'm on a high horse. I know man is minuscule to nature. I know. But right now I am important. Important enough to compare to nature.
The wind blew lightly, the leaves dancing. They swirled and settled just as quickly. And the water was calm, but got ripples every time a leaf drifted onto the glassy surface.
I looked forward, anyway.
The thing I can't tell you is what i saw in myself. I saw a girl with a tattered sweater and ripped jeans. A girl with dark circles and a pretty smile. But I couldn't see underneath. I lost myself. I hadn't realized it. But slowly yet surely i had lost my quirks and my charm. But I was whole, and I was alive. Breathing. I survived the year.
Looking forward, the water and the trees brought the year back.
I wlooked down at the worn Polaroid.
It was the same lake, the same trees, taken a year ago.
I was the only thing different.
And I'm still okay.