Occasionally I still feel it pull me
Slowly down into that swirling sea
Despite how far I've come
Part of me's eternally numb
Have to ask myself why I'm mad
Tell myself I'm not really sad
Always question the emotion I feel
Found out long ago they're not always real
They come and go without reason
Little bits of self treason
Never notice until its there
That swirling pit of despair
Its like weeks go by normally
Then its all ****** up suddenly
I've learned to handle I've learned to cope
Just take a shot or smoke some dope
I used to think it would go away
But I've learned its here to stay