The paint is chipping, the Christmas tree shutters hanging Green on gray, brick stoop and twin column mouth Opens to creaking stairs that made sneaking out commando work My room made your favorite shade is gone, death to ugly orange I used to think of it as my laboratory, safe haven for exploration And abstract cultivation, I bled my innocence into the floorboards There are still fist-sized holes along the stud that I detected Remnants of the games I played and the four that I connected The basement is still damp and dreary, the wooden cage for laundry suspended At the bottom of a chute that you told me was the tomb of a curious girl My weight bench, secondhand and mixed pounds with kilograms Living in sin, vowed never to be defenseless training endless The attic lends its hospitable hand to trapped bird and cobweb gems Quarter-circle window kept by chain hungrily swallows smoke Shelves packed so tight with yellowing knowledge and petrified wood That if spiteful spark made love to Musty air and ******* embers, I would never make it out Déjà vu as backyard grass soothes badtripbitch with tingling tips Of leathery flesh, ready to be buried and wormed in its bedbox Overwhelmed like militia in failing keep against advancing hordes Until nature’s handsome sprouts remind me life is beautiful, always The trumpet vine grows hideous and spiny, roots reaching deep Settles in its site and survives all assaults man-made For a blink during the year its vermillion nectar tubes take flower The hummingbirds find love outside my window in their bloom