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Feb 2015
For years
I have gasped in
Music
replacing myself
with it,
finding its expression
better than any attempts at my own
And there is peace,
however brief.

They call me a dancer,
but I have lost something
in these years.
something hard and sacred,
and in losing it
I have grappled to find it
not knowing
that it is gone forever
with the song that carried it away.

You are there with it,
within the song.
So when I dance I can be with you;
and when you text me
from out of the ****** blue
it is slightly shocking and
it is from far away-
   (farther than the song, anyway.)

That i can hardly read your name
that I can barely make out the words
of your bluish text
because both are from another planet,
and the experience is as vague as
how I choose to remember you.

And how can I answer your call?
Luckily, dancing requires no words.

Discipline and self-reservation
are not my strong suits;
I'm a passionate person (as you well know)
but in remembering you
I have mastered both.
I don't indulge in your memory anymore.
your kisses are gone with my size 2;
I don't even remember what that feels like.
And our conversations
which I once memorized like lyrics
now murmur distantly,
hum like a deep rhythm.

And though it rests within me,
forever it will sleep.
because I have buried the rhythm
like I have buried your name.
I can hear it,
I can even sway my hips to it,
but I will not call back,
and I will never invite you to dance again.

You are gone.
This song and my dance are all that remains.
Erica
Written by
Erica  Eugene, OR
(Eugene, OR)   
445
     Lior Gavra and ---
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