For years I have gasped in Music replacing myself with it, finding its expression better than any attempts at my own And there is peace, however brief.
They call me a dancer, but I have lost something in these years. something hard and sacred, and in losing it I have grappled to find it not knowing that it is gone forever with the song that carried it away.
You are there with it, within the song. So when I dance I can be with you; and when you text me from out of the ****** blue it is slightly shocking and it is from far away- (farther than the song, anyway.)
That i can hardly read your name that I can barely make out the words of your bluish text because both are from another planet, and the experience is as vague as how I choose to remember you.
And how can I answer your call? Luckily, dancing requires no words.
Discipline and self-reservation are not my strong suits; I'm a passionate person (as you well know) but in remembering you I have mastered both. I don't indulge in your memory anymore. your kisses are gone with my size 2; I don't even remember what that feels like. And our conversations which I once memorized like lyrics now murmur distantly, hum like a deep rhythm.
And though it rests within me, forever it will sleep. because I have buried the rhythm like I have buried your name. I can hear it, I can even sway my hips to it, but I will not call back, and I will never invite you to dance again.
You are gone. This song and my dance are all that remains.