Cataclysmically careening down a chasm of chaos
I seperate myself from myself
I am just a part of the everything and spiralling ever further into the void
Devoid of the hubris and ideals of the individual
We are now as we are
The great Is.
Tiny terrifying tarantulas treck through my trachea
bring to me the woe and confusion of thought
my voice creaks and from within a gurgle of shame
comes an uproarious feeling screaming louder and louder
FIGHT
However

I sit in my apartment,
surrounded by a display of unadulterated unease
the carpet is littered with broken promises to myself
and the corpses of my past lives
shambling through the dark and finding the bathroom I find the light
I turn it on and inside the mirror is
the face of my mother, speaking in tongues and drinking maple syrup
while Mrs. Butterworth moans like a **** star
A fillibuster of inconceivable toxic waste spews from my mouth as I make excuses
I shave my face and head out the door
I have a job to do after all and this world needs me
Me the only me that has ever been or ever will be
and the only thing that matters
a tangled mess of ligaments and flesh strewn together like a marionette guided by strings called neurons
my brain playing make-believe with false pretense
keeping secrets and shining lights on
the monsters underneath my bed

I cry because I like to remember I can
that I am able to feel the things I read about in books and see on tv
but when faced with tragedy I just shut down
and I realize I'm alone
and that brings me happiness.