Today is the first day of my life.
I will grow. I will be steady.
There will be days when I stand in the rain, let it soak me to my skin.
Feel the beating of my heart, your heart against the pavement, pounding in my ears.
I sit on the bench amongst the leaves.
A vast sea of sod that makes me wonder how I could think that I am alone.
I used to wonder who I was. I would look at my arms, my legs, so alien.
But now I know who I am. I’ve tested the waters. Felt them burn me, boil me.
Yet each day I came back. Each day I wanted more.
The insanity of my life defined my every moment, led me to my deepest low, my highest high.
I sat around for days, neglecting my showers.
Sleep was for those too afraid of the night.
If only you knew the things I saw before my eyes, waking dreams.
And it all sounds like a story, like it could even be you
until you don’t even know who you are anymore.
You don’t even know how I curled up and cried on my bathroom floor that night,
my body stinging from the scent of you.
I don’t think I can ever forget.
I’ll be cleaning myself of you until I can’t remember my name.
Until everything that I know is erased by the bustling of time.