This is the journal I found you in
This is the notebook that witnessed
a girl falling in love
     with a cliche.

This is not the journal I lost you in.
              
I lost you on the internet
            in my car
in the rain
I lost you through through text and phone

           I lost you in life.
With no journal to witness my struggle
Because I replaced the lined pages with your
ears
and
lips
I opened your chest and made my home there.
When I was evicted
I had no place.
No place to lay my weary head.
No place to rest my thoughts
No pillows for my tears to fall on
No eyes for my smiles to capture.
No hands to hold. Only the empty.

This is the life I found you in.
But it is not the life I got to keep you in.