It doesn't go away
Just because I am happy now
Even though I have so many reasons to smile
It still creeps in
The darkness that has become so familiar
It manages to find a way in
To bring me back a few steps
To tighten the grip around my throat
It laughs at the frustration and confusion
Why won't it go away?
Does it mean I am not really happy?
No. I am the happiest I have ever been
Things are the best that I can ever remember
I smile now. I really smile.
But still I am suffocated by this weight
This weight of depression and of anxiety
Pulling me in all directions
Making me feel like I am drowning
God, I ask You to save me
Pull me out from all of this mess
Help me to live for You
To remember that You are in control
That this depression and anxiety are not what define me.
You define me.
My true identity is in You.
I am a daughter of the King.
That is something that cannot be taken from me.
So I will smile. I will push forward.
I will not let this sickness take my life.