My past is so ****
....then again deadly
...it's alive yet dead
...how can that be
When I look back
...l
I see beautiful blue eyes staring back up at me
...in the most romantic way ever
In awe of me....my body...my existence
....but I also see pain...hurt
Mainly insecurity
...of a girl dying for validation to her existence
Dying to fit in, dying to be cool, dying to be what everyone else wants....
But I look back and see how real it all felt
...how can someone be hurt and happy
I was limping that whole entire year believing I was happy...
And now I crave this validation
...I crave the feeling of being wanted
...of feeling ****
Of feeling the warm embrace of love
But does all of that truly exist
....no it doesn't
.bur how do I let go of something so warm
That seems like the only thing keeping me alive...
Letting go of my comfort...
Is the journey up a rise
Slowly begins in my stride...
Then rides through this journey of life
...