You know I think we all have crushed dreams. I'm almost done with my small town life, about to head to the city fir college. And in a bout of writing, it occurred to me that I'll never have that young stupid romance that teens have, the ones were you just spend all day talking and laughing with no care in the world. I'll never have her look at me with big smiling eyes as we slowly dance at homecoming. I'll never know what it's like to be one of any of my friends. I really just don't get it. Why does this one thing bother me so ******* much? That I can't find anybody. And now the more I write to some imaginary person I call you just to feel like maybe you will find this, I slowly begin sobbing and realize I'm still just a stupid little kid that had his dreams crushed. Is this feeling, this dry old cough, this stinging crying, is this what it's like to realize your dreams are shattered? This heavy weight on your chest knowing that you can't get back the lost time? That you’re running out of time with your friends and prom is around the corner and you can't live with yourself if you don't find a date. That soon you'll never see anybody that you know again? That now you have to grow up and go be an adult? I just wanted to be a normal high school student and fall in stupid love and experience going to parties and dances but no I sit at home or at night classes to make college better and I'm not even sure if I want to go there anymore but I know my parents would force me. I only have a little time and I can't do it all over again. And I spend my nights writing this ****** book for stupid reasons. Why can't I just turn my mind off and live