Honest to god,
there's no one here – no one I can think of –
no one at the table, in the chair, in the house,
no one that will listen to me.

And honest to god that is all I can think about.
That and my foolishness.
And all this thinking has made it so i can't stand to stand up anymore.
I'll fall, I'll make that mistake.
I'll receive that punishment, the beating, the harm.

All of that is just something to take
like a man.
But I'm not a man.
Honest to god.

I can fake it.

Faking is the best way –
lying through your teeth while praising the lord's name
in vain.

I do it every day because there is no honest to god to shout to.
But you just cannot believe, can you?

Such naivety just will not stop and so you'll stay,
eyes to the sky,
relentlessly pleading
*honest to god.