Thought about alot, specially today.  I have come to see that there was a problem. And it was me. I had a wife that I could not make happy.  I had tried, but did not succeed.  I know this because I had let my self go. She had even told me so. Told me that if we did not know one another and had passed eachother. She wouldnt show no interest in me. Because I am not what her eyes were attracted to see. Probably a reason she is angry.  That and because I am useless and lazy. I know this because I hear it all day. From people at work and home. You didn't do this and you needed to do that. You have done nothing you lazy piece of crap! Even from our son who I hold close to my heart. He puses me away so I feel miles apart. So now I understand why you need to smoke your ****. Because you need it to help you deal with ignorant annoying people. And I am sorry I let one be me. Sorry I did not see. Sorry for being the reason you yell. I did not mean to make your life hell. Sorry I am not what I made my self to be. You will be happier now..now that your free. You will not have to hear me say. How sad I feel every day. But one more thing I must say. I never planned for it to be this way......