This morning
when making cupcakes as penance
for not visiting a friend
for not getting a Mother's Day gift
for not wanting to meet a sister
who shares my name
a second language
and no DNA

I saw my brother
Clinging to the railing by his elbows
and swinging his legs off of
the porch steps
I thought for a minute
about yelling at him to stop
and teaching him to fear
four foot drops

But back then
I didn't think I was nearly
as finite
as I did this morning.