Mar 2012
We all know the impending, ominous, zombie apocalypse is ever present, here are some guidelines I suggest we all follow, at all times:
1) Know you friends and enemies. Who can you trust? When the moment strikes, know who you will want by your side and who is expendable.
2) Assess your surroundings.
a. Know your exits and any strategy involved.
b. Be aware of any weapons that can be made available and remember their location.
c. Make note of any abundant water sources/food/supplies, etc.
3) Cell phones be ******! ALWAYS carry with you these things: pocket knife, lighter (more than one is never frowned upon, FIRE is essential!), matches, extra clothing esp. sox, underwear, long sleeves, etc.
4) Always have a means of fire. Quite possibly the most important thing.
5) Own a gun. Even if you think guns are bad. Get one anyway. When the **** hits the fan you'll be happy you have one, trust me. Oh yeah, and plenty of ammo.
6) Be a mechanic. Learn how to hot-wire a vehicle. Learn how engines work and how to maintain one. Any handyman skill you can acquire will be well used I assure you.
7) Find a good place to grow produce. Any sort of green house your can Jerry Rig or acreage with rich topsoil you can find will come quite handy! ... when you're starving...
8) Generally, "safety in numbers" is a good rule to follow. However, in a zombie apocalypse, anything can happen. In my opinion, you're better off with a fewer number of people. That way you have less of a chance of exposure :)
9) Find armor. Anything you can use to avoid a bite to the neck, arm, leg, etc...
10) If someone is bitten, especially a loved one, **** THEM IMMEDIATELY!!
11) Don't seek out an island for solace. You'll only become trapped.
12) Don't seek high ground. You'll only become trapped.
13) Don't seek sewers. You'll only become trapped.
14) Stick and move. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
15) Know that NO ONE wants to become a zombie and that means they will go to extreme lengths the avoid zombification. Ergo, NO ONE can be trusted.
16) Establish a bunker or Safehouse of some kind. Keep it stocked with water, food, weapons and ammunition. You can use coals from a fire to filter any ***** water. Plus, obviously, with fire, food can be cooked.
17) At all times, be prepared to evacuate the bunker or Safehouse if necessary. Keep all valuable items close at hand and easily obtainable.
18) Have a secondary, less obvious bunker or Safehouse that you can flee to, at any time. Also well stocked.
19) Please, if you have children, make sure they're aware of the situation.
a. Don't lie to them about the fact that there are humans coming back to life to eat you.
b. Teach them how to use a weapon to defend themselves.
c. Just because there are zombies about doesn't mean they can't read or educate themselves.
20) Don't be a fool. We've all seen that boarding up windows and doors doesn't work for the hero. Don't bother, get the **** outa there!
21) Blend in. If you can do a good zombie impression, like those guys from "Shaun of the Dead" then I think you're golden! OR, You could cover yourself in human guts and blood like in "Walking Dead". Either way, blending into the zombie environment is crucial.
22) Be hypersensitive to other peoples' feelings. Everyone will crack at a certain stress point. Some sooner than others. It will be those individuals that crack that will mean life or death.
1) Know you friends and enemies. Who can you trust? When the moment strikes, know who you will want by your side and who is expendable.
2) Assess your surroundings.
a. Know your exits and any strategy involved.
b. Be aware of any weapons that can be made available and remember their location.
c. Make note of any abundant water sources/food/supplies, etc.
3) Cell phones be ******! ALWAYS carry with you these things: pocket knife, lighter (more than one is never frowned upon, FIRE is essential!), matches, extra clothing esp. sox, underwear, long sleeves, etc.
4) Always have a means of fire. Quite possibly the most important thing.
5) Own a gun. Even if you think guns are bad. Get one anyway. When the **** hits the fan you'll be happy you have one, trust me. Oh yeah, and plenty of ammo.
6) Be a mechanic. Learn how to hot-wire a vehicle. Learn how engines work and how to maintain one. Any handyman skill you can acquire will be well used I assure you.
7) Find a good place to grow produce. Any sort of green house your can Jerry Rig or acreage with rich topsoil you can find will come quite handy! ... when you're starving...
8) Generally, "safety in numbers" is a good rule to follow. However, in a zombie apocalypse, anything can happen. In my opinion, you're better off with a fewer number of people. That way you have less of a chance of exposure :)
9) Find armor. Anything you can use to avoid a bite to the neck, arm, leg, etc...
10) If someone is bitten, especially a loved one, **** THEM IMMEDIATELY!!
11) Don't seek out an island for solace. You'll only become trapped.
12) Don't seek high ground. You'll only become trapped.
13) Don't seek sewers. You'll only become trapped.
14) Stick and move. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
15) Know that NO ONE wants to become a zombie and that means they will go to extreme lengths the avoid zombification. Ergo, NO ONE can be trusted.
16) Establish a bunker or Safehouse of some kind. Keep it stocked with water, food, weapons and ammunition. You can use coals from a fire to filter any ***** water. Plus, obviously, with fire, food can be cooked.
17) At all times, be prepared to evacuate the bunker or Safehouse if necessary. Keep all valuable items close at hand and easily obtainable.
18) Have a secondary, less obvious bunker or Safehouse that you can flee to, at any time. Also well stocked.
19) Please, if you have children, make sure they're aware of the situation.
a. Don't lie to them about the fact that there are humans coming back to life to eat you.
b. Teach them how to use a weapon to defend themselves.
c. Just because there are zombies about doesn't mean they can't read or educate themselves.
20) Don't be a fool. We've all seen that boarding up windows and doors doesn't work for the hero. Don't bother, get the **** outa there!
21) Blend in. If you can do a good zombie impression, like those guys from "Shaun of the Dead" then I think you're golden! OR, You could cover yourself in human guts and blood like in "Walking Dead". Either way, blending into the zombie environment is crucial.
22) Be hypersensitive to other peoples' feelings. Everyone will crack at a certain stress point. Some sooner than others. It will be those individuals that crack that will mean life or death.
