For the lessons never learned
The harvest of regrets

I embarked upon a life of crime
From the snuggled warmth
Of my misbegotten infancy
Seeds and serpents deep within
Waiting for the day when I took my first step
Down a slick smooth road to delinquency
A little further down to apostasy
And the cries of the ******

Was I a fool to believe
I could escape those tendencies?
Could I turn them on myself?
I fancied myself transcendent
But I was only transparent

For the dreams worth sleeping
The rooster won't stop crowing

It used to be fun to pretend
I was a genius
But the truth demands it's rightful place
With age comes revelation
Ah, but that's mine to covet
You'll find out soon enough

For the passion smothered by defective genes
For trying to say it all in one sentence

I don't even look for someone to blame
It's in me, a part of me
I have sinned against spirit
No cry for help, I'd spurn it with ease
It's cotton I'm stuffed with
The ringing in my ears doesn't even bother me anymore
Unless I think about it for awhile
And ain't that the way it should be with life itself?
Am I a barrel of transgressions filled almost full from the past?
Heavy and difficult to haul around

For the best of intentions and good advice
It doesn't get any better

Judgment weighs heavy above my head
Suspended in disbelief for a brief reprise
If hell is the cessation of existence, nothing more
Is it blasphemous to pray for it?
If only someone could convince me it's so
I wouldn't want to put you out, Yahweh
I don't deserve your mercy
But nothing more, please, nothing more