Your cheek turned
My head turned down
That's how it goes
I call(ed) you a friend
You have my back
Never, these days
Your life is more important than mine
Always, it seems
Things get rough for me
You sail on through
Things get rough for you
You drag me down too
Failed attempts at communication leave me the small child tugging on his father's shirt
Asking to be lifted on his shoulders
Soon turned angry child kicking and shoving other kids
Because he was ignored
Countless years
Countless nights
Never to be achieved again
I'm a hoarder
An emotional hoarder
A hoarder of past emotions
I want to forget them
I beg to forget them
But my head/heart says
No
It's a real condition, you see
HSP
I've yet to reach the "helpful" part of it
I'm only able to continually look through all of the dusty files in the offices of my head
Oh wait, this IS one of those "helpful" parts
I guess I should give you some credit
Maybe if you knew that my head works differently, then you'd understand why you affect me
Still.
I wish you wouldn't
I wish I could tell myself I don't need you
"Friend"
But I can't let go of how it was
But it hurts too much, how it is
You might read this
Anger
Defense
Denial
Always
We've been there so many times before
I press my back against the wall
Swing my fists
Then open my big mouth
It's a front
Surprise.
You think I'm irrational and immature
Though you used to tell me I was too nice
One extreme to the other
I think you're narcissistic and insensitive
And beautiful and funny
Curious and bold
I won't tug at your shirt anymore
I won't ask to be held up by you
I'll want to
But I'll fight it with all I have
I have to
I'm being selfish
For me
But if you ever tug at my shirt
I'll lift you on my shoulders in a heartbeat