My therapist recently asked me what it was like to be alone. I paused and said that it was like driving home from work in a panic attack, crying and screaming from the emptiness, pulling over on the side of the highway because you couldn’t see the road but deep down not caring if you got hit and died instantly. And you’re in your car alone at 12:06AM looking for the sharpest thing you can find to cut yourself. Anything to distract from the agonizing pain inside your head. You then text your mom saying “I need you”, your best friend, your dad, your other best friend and the silence that comes from everyone else’s busyness screams through the hollow caverns of your heart. You’re alone and you don’t want to be but you don’t have a choice. You believe the God of the universe has abandoned you because he’s not answering as you beg to be saved. Somehow you make it home and to your bed in your empty apartment numbing yourself with sleeping pills when you wake up to messages from those you texted saying “are you okay?” to which you respond “no” knowing nothing will change.